


Who are you now?

by LionsHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Conflict, Gen, Jealousy, M/M, Malex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:58:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17718497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LionsHeart/pseuds/LionsHeart
Summary: Michael meets some guy but he turns out to be Alex' date and that doesn't really sit well with Michael.





	Who are you now?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I haven't written anything in forever but I love these guys so much and I just couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoy it <3

The Wild Pony sounded and smelled like it always did. Michael was glad that at least one thing hadn't changed in this last month. Everything else seemed to be in turmoil. His favourite seat at the bar had already been taken but when Michael gave the man sitting there a one-over he didn't really mind. So he sat down next to him and ordered a beer from Maria.

The guy was wearing jeans and a black shirt. He was tall, with broad shoulders and the clean shave made his jawline and cheekbones stand out. Michael could see a tattoo on his upper arm peeking from under the left sleeve and a dog tag was dangling from his neck.

“What does a Marine want in a small town full of airmen?” Michael smirked. The guy looked up from his drink and gave him a grin.  
“Opposition research. Trying to prove that their job really is a million times easier than ours.” he gave back. Without hesitation he held out his hand to Michael. “Nick. Mahone.”  
“Michael.” he said and shook his hand. It was warm and strong and Michael could feel the rough skin of his palm. Maybe this night was going to be fun after all.

“Nice to meet you Michael.” Nick said, propping his arm up on the bar. “Do you serve?”  
Michael couldn't help but laugh. “Oh god no. I have a bit of a problem with authority. Not a big fan of the food chain.”  
“So you don't like being told what to do, huh?” the soldier leaned forward and winked at Michael.  
“Depends.” Michael took a slow sip from his beer. “I can be very obedient if I want to be.”  
Nick threw his head back and laughed. “Okay Michael from what I have seen from this town so far, you are definitely the most entertaining.”  
“What? You don't enjoy all the tourist attractions? Did ya get yourself a nice key chain yet?” Michael turned on his bar chair to face him completely, letting his knees brush Nick's legs for a moment.  
Nick looked down and back up at Michael's face while he reached for his drink. “Nah that's not really my thing. I'm a fan of unique experiences.”  
“Maybe it's your lucky night then.” Michael said, his voice getting darker and he rested his hand on the back of Nick's chair.  
“Maybe. But I doubt it will be yours.” Nick gave by after downing his drink.

“Oh yeah?” Michael was taken aback by the response. He thought he was doing everything right so far.  
“Yeah sorry man, I've already got a date.”  
Michael raised an eyebrow “You're a tourist but you got a date? Someone you go back with?”  
“Yes we served together.” Nick responded, turning his head as if he expected his date to walk through the door that second.  
“Nice guy?” Michael asked, trying to sound indifferent rather than disappointed.  
“Oh yeah he is great. Really funny, smart, loyal as hell, hot, brave.”  
“Lucky you.” Michael turned his attention back to the bar. The one hot guy in this place and of course he's already got some guy on hand that sounds like straight from a Nicholas Sparks movie.

“Speaking of the devil.” Nick said with a smile and got up. “It was nice to meet you Michael.”  
“The pleasure was all mine, Marine.” Michael mumbled and took another swing of his beer. Well that was a failure. He just promised himself not to look around to see Nick's date but than he heard that voice. The voice that he would recognise anywhere at anytime.  
“Nice haircut Mahone. Really going against the mainstream.” Alex laughed and Michael spun around just in time to see them hug. When they let go Nick's hand remained on Alex’ shoulder and Alex let one of his hands run over the short buzz cut on Nick's head.  
“Well the Corps is still not a fan of the lumberjack look. They keep turning down my requests.” Michael heard Nick say. He saw Alex point towards an empty table across the room and they walk over to sit down, making it impossible for Michael to hear more of their conversation. 

He rolled his eyes and searched the room for Maria since his beer was almost empty. When she didn't pay attention to his waving, he whistled. She turned around and walked up behind the bar to stand opposite of him.  
“Listen Guerin, you whistle at me again and you'll get another lifetime ban and this time it's gonna stick. Got it?”  
“Yes ma'am.” Michael wanted to sound apologetic but considering the look on Maria's face it probably sounded more sarcastic.  
“What do you want?” She bit back. “If you want me to read you your future, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.”  
“I'd be satisfied with a scotch for now but I'd also be open for you to meet all my spiritual demons up close and personal.”  
“That's not worth it honey. Sorry. Here's your scotch. Enjoy.”  
“You don't know what your missing out on DeLuca.”  
“Oh if I wanted to know than I could just ask half the town who already had that pleasure.” Maria gave back and turned her attention to someone standing behind Michael.

“Alex, babe. What can I get you and handsome over there?” She said in a warm and loving tone while she smiled at her friend. Michael looked up as Alex made the last few steps towards to bar.  
“How about a beer and one bourbon on the rocks?” Alex said, completely ignoring Michael.  
“Sure. Just give me a sec to make sure those dudes don't leave without paying up. I'll be right back. Oh and don't let Guerin steal the Scotch.” Maria turned her back on them and walked towards to pool tables.  
“Do you steal shit from the bar a lot?” Alex mumbled but he still didn't look at Michael.  
“Would fit my dare devil criminal image, wouldn't it?” Michael stared at him as if to dare Alex to look back. He looked good and Michael hated himself a little for noticing it. At Michael's words he hung his head a little and pushed his free hand against the counter.  
“You shouldn't keep your date waiting. I bet Maria will just bring you the drinks. It's not like you could carry them in that one hand anyway.” He didn't want to be mean but Michael couldn't control the bitterness in his tone. 

I can't be with a criminal.

It was as if Alex had thrown those words at him just yesterday.  
“Thanks but I'll wait.” Alex said, so quietly it almost sounded like a whisper. Michael could feel the anger and heartbreak and jealousy building up inside of him and he knew that if he didn't walk out or try to distract himself he would blow some shit up. In moments like this it was still too hard for him to control his powers.  
“Nice guy. Where did you find him?” It was as if his mouth was too fast for his brain to control.

Alex finally looked at him. Those dark eyes carried so many different emotions that Michael couldn't make out if he looked more sad or stubborn.  
“We worked on the same base in Baghdad during my second deployment.” Alex said. His voice was rough.  
“I bet he made those months a hell of a time for you. This is the kind of guy even your father would approve of right? Jarhead, takes orders for a living, on a life's mission to serve his country.” Mockingly, Michael sat up straight and saluted Alex. 

Alex grit his teeth. He moved forward, closer to Michael and hissed “Yes. He made those months so much fun for me. You have no idea! It was like being on a goddamn vacation. I just had the time of my life!”  
“You know that's not what I meant!” Michael hissed back just as angry.  
“Yeah I know exactly what you meant. Because everything in this world is just a joke to you.”  
“When I knew you, the whole military was just a joke to you too.”  
“Well I unlike you, I had the luxury of growing!”  
“And yet” Michael said a little softer “even now that you are so grown up, you still hold on to bad habits.” He moved his hand over the one that Alex had rested on the counter. At first he thought Alex would pull away and he had opened his mouth as if to give a comment back but then he closed it again and just stared right into Michael's eyes. The look was so intense that it sent a shiver down Michael's spin and he could feel the energy in him building up.

“There you go. Do you want me to bring it over to the table?” Maria's voice tore them out of the moment and Michael pulled his hand away. He searched in his pocket for his wallet and threw Maria the money for the drink and her tip on the counter. Without another word he got up and left the bar as fast as he could without actually running. He couldn't do it. Not again. He could let these feelings overwhelm him. He reached his truck and leaned his arms and head on the cold surface. Breath. Just breathe slowly. 

He heard his steps before he heard his voice. The uneven steps of Alex’ feet and the muffled thump of his crutch on the dirty ground of the parking lot.  
“Guerin” Alex said but Michael shook his head as he turned around.  
“Just go back inside Alex.”  
“I just wanted…”  
“What? What did you want? That I really got the message and that that guy there is in the league that you are fishing in? Don't worry I got it." Michael breathed out slowly, trying to reign in the anger and pain.  
“You're not a bad habit.” Alex said, stepping closer.  
“No. You don't get to do this.”  
“Do what?”  
“You don't get to come back again and say something in the hope that it will barely make it okay again. Why do you keep doing this? Why do you always keep coming back when you know that this isn't what you want?”  
“Why do you keep letting me?”

Michael stared at him in disbelief. How could he be this blind after all that time.  
“I let you because turning you away and saying no to you is one of the most painful things I could ever experience. I let you because I fucking hate it not to be around you. I love you so much.” Frustrated he ruffled his curls with his hands. “I love you so much and even tho I know that you will probably walk away again, I have to take that chance that maybe this time you don't because a one percent chance of being with you is better than a hundred percent chance with anyone else.”

Alex didn't come any closer. “You know that I love you too.” It wasn't a question. And yes, Michael knew. He always knew.  
“The person that you don't love is you Alex. And that's the problem. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this. You wouldn't run away and you wouldn't let someone else's demands change you. What do you want? What do you really want?” 

“I…” Alex turned his head as if he was waiting for the answer to magically appear from the sky. “It doesn't matter what...”  
“Yes it does!” Michael yelled. Some people on the parking looked up at them but Michael didn't care. “It matters to me! Because if you don't tell me what you actually want then all I'll ever get are the brainwashed answers your abusive father makes you want to believe. I know you Alex. The real you. Tell me what you want!”

Now Alex did move. He stepped closer and Michael couldn't move away even if he wanted to. Alex leaned his forehead slowly against Michael's and settled a hand in Michael's hair.  
“I want you.” He said carefully and his voice was soaked in so much anguish that Michael forgot how angry he was. “But how could I ever be with you when I keep making you this miserable.”

Michael let both of his hands come up and grip Alex shoulders. “You trying to be someone you're not makes me miserable.” Alex let out a shaking breath and Michael could feel him shiver.  
“I never wanted to cause you anymore pain.” Alex whispered. “And yet that's all I keep doing.” He knew he shouldn't but Michael couldn't help himself. He closed the distance between them. The kiss was intense, like all their kisses were and neither of them wanted it to stop.  
“I'm a mess.” Alex said out of breath when they finally pulled apart.  
“Yes you are.” Michael murmured. “But we were always best at being a mess together.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Pretty please leave some feedback, that's always helpful.


End file.
